He called me from the airport, the moment he landed in Amsterdam. “Can you recognise me?” he asked. Frankly, I could not. I was in a meeting, and though I picked up the phone even though it was from an unknown number, I never liked this typical question that we often ask. My reply was a bit curt as I said with a firm voice “Obviously not.”
I could sense a smile on the other side, and he said: “You have not changed. This is Srinivasan.”
I paused. I know at least 10 Srinivasans for sure. I replied, “Can I call you back please, I am in a meeting,” and hung up without waiting for his reply.
Around six in the evening, the phone rang, and it was Srinivasan again. This time, when he spoke, I could recognise his voice. I apologised for not being able to do so at first go.
We were colleagues earlier. It was many years back. Since then, I moved, as did he. We lost touch except for a connection through LinkedIn. We agreed to meet the next day for dinner at my place.
That evening, as I retired to my bed, old memories about Srinivasan ran through my mind. I remember I recruited him from campus. He was one of my trusted men, I almost could not move without him. As a manager, I was quite demanding. I remember I pushed him all the time, even to slog on weekends. But then, I rewarded him as well, promoted him ahead of others, put him on the fast-track career path. And probably, that’s why he has achieved so much in such a short time. I felt proud to have shaped a career.
The next day, I picked him up from his hotel. We connected instantly. The gap of 10 years vanished in no time. I learnt he is now the global supply chain head for a large division of a renowned multinational.
We spoke about our old days, how we slogged, and took pride in our work. “Today, I realise how important it is to have a good manager. I indeed learnt a lot from you. You are the one who shaped my career. I always say, you are the best manager I have worked with; you cared for us, taught us to be ambitious, taught us values, time management and importance of integrity, among many other things. That’s why I still remember you fondly,” he said.
I knew it, but still felt happy to get recognition; appreciation, at any age or time, is nice to have.
I said, “It’s indeed kind of you to remember me so fondly, thanks. I just did my job. You are the one who absorbed the best out of me.”
He smiled, and said, “Except one thing.”
I was a bit surprised, and he paused, said, “I never liked you being rude to me. In fact, sometimes, you raised your voice. I hated it. I still remember a day when I was struggling to meet a deadline, and instead of being empathetic, you said, “I do not care how you get this done. I want this on Monday morning at 10 a.m. And you were quite rude…” He laughed before saying, “That day, I promised myself that I would control my anger even in a time of crisis. And I must say, I have forced myself to exercise restraint till date. I know how much it hurts.”
It was a bit awkward. I remembered that day. I know I was tough on him, and at the end of the day I did apologise to him.
We had a nice evening and, after he left, I realised how a scar in the mind remains for life; how it overshadows all the good things you do for an individual, and even apologies afterward do not really erase the damage.
I remembered what Gandhiji once said, “Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break to pieces on coming in contact with the very first rock.”