Daniel Goleman, in his book Emotional Intelligence , refers to a remarkable study conducted by Walter Mischel, during the 1960s at a preschool on the campus of Stanford. The marshmallow test — where 4-year-old kids were taken to a room; given a marshmallow and told that the researcher would be back in a few minutes. If they could hold off eating the marshmallow, they would be given another one. The majority of the children just could not hold back and first nibbled and then ate up the marshmallow even though they knew they could get a second one if they didn't.
These children were then studied over 15 years — the ones that held off, tended to have better life outcomes — from SAT scores to educational achievement and even body mass index. This skill came to be called delayed gratification, the ability to postpone instant reward for the benefit of bigger or better rewards that came later. It is a skill sorely needed by leaders in business today.
In leading a business, an initiative or a project
Leaders who can nudge their organisations and teams to postpone short-term rewards in favour of long-term ones have a better chance of creating successful and lasting outcomes. Discounting price can create a short-term uptick in sales but could sacrifice the brand and hurt margins.
CEOs chasing a strategy to boost the share price in the short-term, could compromise the company’s readiness to face the challenges of the future. A project manager too eager to declare a successful test run may find that only a half-baked product has been rolled out. In each case, when we give in to the temptation for an early reward, we harm the future.
Do we take a short cut to profits while crossing the compliance line? Several Indian drug companies saw their market share and share prices tumble when the USFDA found things not entirely in order at their manufacturing or formulation plants. Auto majors that tried to massage emission data were found out and paid a price in fines and lost credibility in the market.
Nine women can’t create a baby in one month. Very often, projects and initiatives need to go through a natural sequence to develop and evolve. Fast-forwarding unnaturally can create more problems than they solve. To blindly ramp up a marketing budget when a product is clearly not ready or accepted by the market could be foolhardy. Sony, for example, rolled out its e-book reader ahead of the Kindle but it had not covered all bases. A much too small collection and teething issues saw it flame out. Kindle stayed its hand till it built an impressive collection, and only then launched. It was able to quickly gain acceptance and grow.
In developing people
When working with others, we often claim the easy parts of the relationship. Conversations that please, actions that seek approval, choices that are popular. We avoid the difficult conversations, we avoid positive conflict, we avoid feedback that could be unpleasant but that could help. In each case, we prioritise the reward of a pleasant interaction, a smooth but superficial relationship. But when the tough conversation is postponed, people problems often get worse.
A team manager avoids telling her team leader that his abrasive style is hurting his team. A team leader is reluctant to tell a teammate that his constant missing of deadlines is affecting client deliverables. A lady executive refrains from telling a male colleague that his jokes are sexist and offensive. In almost all these cases, trying to claim the peace before it’s due can create a fire later that will be much more difficult to douse.
The leader, instead, confronts people development head on. She realises that the peace that follows will be more real and lasting if issues that concern an individual’s growth, or threaten the success of the team, are thrashed out immediately. It may cause heartburn, some unpleasantness and anger but when such issues are named and are in the open, there is a chance to address them and move forward. The elephant in the room that no one wants to talk about is usually the one that tramples on the whole crowd.
As leaders, are we prepared to help teammates grow by moving them outside their comfort zone? Are we prepared to wait patiently as they struggle and sometimes fail rather than step in and short-circuit their growth?
In growing ourselves
A human tendency is to seek out the easier path. We’d like to deal with the easier client, to handle an easier territory, to work with a known team. In each case we believe results, satisfaction and connected rewards will come faster. But consider the oft-told example of the butterfly in the pupa which is going through the tough process of slowly coming out. We lend a helping hand and release it from what we perceive is a harrowing experience. The butterfly is now free of the pupa but with wings ill-equipped to fly. Wings that could only have been strengthened by the struggle to emerge. Remove the struggle and you remove the strength.
Can we therefore chase growth rather than rewards? Growth that can often only come by postponing the very reward we seek. I heard the experience of a young former colleague who was given a promotion but at a city far from his hometown. He declined the promotion wanting to enjoy the comfort and convenience of staying closer to home. Was it wise to turn away an opportunity to grow, to learn, to stretch ones limits and make a bigger impact?
Delayed gratification is a skill that has to be learnt early. Studies before play. Tough subject before easy subject. Hard-earned money rather than easy money. Savings and investment before spending on luxuries. In many facets of life, real rewards are gained through the willingness to patiently walk the road to them. Dessert may be my favourite part of the meal. But it’s best to have it where it belongs — last!