The day I discovered I could build my own ship was the day I came of age. Now, having been successful in one industry is all the incentive one needs to launch all out, like the “quintessential all-rounder” Elon Musk. Yes, I finally explored the heights of the aerospace industry too. Soon, I successfully test-fired a short-range, feather-light rocket, which narrowly missed its target. Enormous feat, I would say, considering it was my first attempt.
Ok, let me not act like that covert millionaire who wouldn’t share his secret mantra of accumulating wealth. The “ship” and “rocket” I had built were made from A4 sheets — a day after I celebrated my 11th birthday. To give you further insights, my raw material to build the ship was the answer sheet I couldn’t populate with ink, and the rectangle from which I fashioned the rocket was the question paper I couldn’t comprehend. Oh yes, no surprise for guessing the target that my stealth rocket missed by a whisker — my stony-faced maths teacher!
Fast forward 24 years, and I still feel the same numbing sensations of achievement and disappointment. The good news, though, is that I am finally able to nab the culprit — it is Mr Self Help and not my mathematics teacher. All the self-help books, positive thinking concepts/workshops, TED talks and even positive self-talk have only left me wanting more. My life coach often says I have everything I need — obviously hidden within — and all I need to do is believe and reach within for the answers I need. However, the deeper I look, not only do I see an absence of answers but even more questions.
The idea of self-sufficiency was something ingrained in our minds right from our childhood, when our parents gently let go off our hands. Not just our parents, even our teachers and well-intentioned friends prodded us to pull ourselves up by our own physical, emotional and existential bootstraps, whenever we faced challenges of any sort. We were encouraged to find ourselves without any moral compass and to define ourselves without any guidelines or restriction.
The self-help industry — a century-old business — is worth more than $10 billion. However, the RoI or its efficacy seem to be less than satisfactory. Since the invention of sliced bread, there has never been a time when we were more connected and advanced, both technologically and intellectually, than we are today. At the same time, loneliness, depression, suicide, divorce and social fragmentation seem to have hit an all-time high. With all the books and expert talk on “ You can win”, “The power of positive thinking”, “Think and grow rich”, “The art of happiness ”, and so on, one would expect the world by now to be teeming with super-achievers, millionaires and enlightened Buddhas.
The evidence is overwhelming — we need rescuing from ourselves. Late comic George Colin once quipped, “If you’re looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That’s not self-help. That’s help! There’s no such thing as self-help. If you did it yourself, you didn’t need help.”
As much as we want to believe that we don’t need help, our struggles pour out in every aspect of our self-expression. When we run into trouble, we seek help outside us. It is an automatic and instinctive reaction. And while we figure out the source and efficacy of help beyond us, the first step towards our redemption is our ability to acknowledge the need to be helped by someone or something outside of us.
(The writer is a learning and development specialist at Wipro Limited. Views expressed are personal.)