Director: Seth Gordon
Cast: Dwayne Johnson, Zac Efron, Alexandra Daddario, Kelly Rohrbach, Jon Bass, Ilfenesh Hadera, Priyanka Chopra.
Storyline: When the beach is flooded with drugs, it is up to the jiggly lifeguards to save the day
The only thing Baywatch brings to mind is Joey and Chandler staring transfixed at the telly as Pamela Anderson runs on the beach in slo-mo. The movie, like the series, focuses lovingly on the lifeguards’ bodies and the plot is beyond simple.
However, while the series stood tall during the days of cable, the movie doesn’t have much to offer its target audience jaded by the all-you-can-see buffet from the Internet. And unfortunately it is not camp or clever enough to be enjoyed by an older audience.
Impossibly muscled Dwayne Johnson plays Mitch Buchannon, leader of the lifeguards. His exchanges with Zac Efron’s disgraced Olympic swimmer, Matt Brody, get whatever little laughs there are to be had. Then there is Alexandra Daddario, who is Summer Quinn, a new recruit, who looks like Annabeth Chase in skimpy clothes. Priyanka Chopra is the evil Victoria tossing her hair, pouting and wearing slinky little numbers with plunging necklines.
There are some awful jokes as nerdy Ronnie tries to woo statuesque CJ Parker. David Hasselhoff who played Mitch in the TV series and Anderson make cameos in the film. And look rather lost in the process.
If the makers had gone for broke and made a bright, big, colourful movie with sea, sand and the odd psychopathic shark thrown in, Baywatch would have been fun.The movie just feels bloated and going on forever. There is only so much even the good looking and talented cast can do with the wafer-thin material. The ‘80s soundtrack instead providing a rush of nostalgia only underlines how dated it all seems.
(The article first appeared in The Hindu CinemaPlus.)